Survivor Support

The mission of Re:Store Survivors is to identify and respond to the unmet needs of survivors. We work in collaboration with community-based organizations, government victim advocates, and incarcerated people to identify system reforms and community resources to address needs and provide opportunities for healing. We understand that systemic oppression and intergenerational trauma are foundational to much of the violence in our society.

We believe that victims’ needs can be met most fully when our response is grounded in human rights and facilitated by a restorative approach. Victims’ rights can be met most effectively by creating more opportunities for restorative and non-adversarial processes for both victims and people responsible for harm within and beyond the justice system.

Acknowledging the humanity of victims and people responsible for harm allows us to identify and meet the full-range of what victims may want from responsible parties. More than punishment and retribution, their healing may require that the responsible party is accountable, makes an apology, expresses regret and remorse, and makes amends to the extent possible. While these actions cannot be required from a person responsible for harm, when freely given, they may be the source of true justice.

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Restorative Dialogues

Restorative Dialogues  is a process in which the victim/survivor of a crime, or the surviving family members, and the person responsible for hard meet face-to face in a safe and secure setting. For certain victims/survivors of severe violence and violation, the facilitated VOD process can provide a pathway to a sense of further healing and further justice. Though this may not be for every survivor, the experience of talking directly with the person responsible for harm can enable survivors to give full voice to some of the pain and trauma they have experienced.

At the same time, when the responsible parties are able to listen and respond to them, and to give voice to the complexity of feelings about what they have done, they can better understand the effects of their behaviors, and how they came to be capable of such behaviors. With this increased understanding, some people responsible for harm will be better able to “account” to the survivor their choices and actions, and will begin to try and make new and purposeful meaning from their experience. The survivors who choose VOD come to feel that they have finally said what they needed to say to the responsible party. This in itself can be healing for them.

This process is not about forgiveness or reconciliation – unless that is absolutely and unequivocally what the survivor wants it to be about. The primary objective is for the survivor to feel heard, and for the responsible party to fully understand the effects of what he or she has done.

For more information on this process or if you would like to initiate a dialogue with someone who is currently incarcerated, please click here.

Re:Store Survivors’ Monthly Calls

This group serves as a space for people who have lost loved ones to violence to receive information and support from a community of survivors. Our goal is to provide resources and support to help each person in their own healing journey. We believe that survivors are more than what happened to them, and that each person has the capacity to heal, even if this is a process that is ongoing over our lifetime. California has many community-based support and advocacy groups for survivor family members and we didn’t want to create one more. Instead, we hope that this effort will be a place for the members of these different groups to come together for support, learning, and community-building. This is an open space to learn about opportunities/resources for healing, discuss unmet needs, and collaboratively work on transforming trauma and creating healing for us and our families.

Community Days of Healing

Together with community-based victim support groups, we co-sponsor Days of Healing and community celebrations for adults and children impacted by violence. These gatherings are informal, and include activities that allow for people to express themselves creatively and connect with others who have experienced similar losses.

This past year, the theme of National Crime Victim’s Rights Week, “Expand the Circle, Include All Victims,” allowed us to recognize all of the survivors we work with, both inside and outside of prison. Every member of the circle, incarcerated and from the outside community, had lost a loved one – a cousin, brother, best friend – to homicide. The day was an opportunity for each participant to be recognized as survivors and for many, their losses had rarely been acknowledged, let alone mourned.

Here, in the words of those who attended, is what the day meant:

Until the Day of Healing, I had never once stopped to write down or even express myself to my dad who I lost 28 years ago. This one activity (when we wrote a message to our loved one) provided me with the courage strength, comfort and security to write my dad a letter of what I have been holding in for 28 years.

The activity that impacted me the most was when we broke into smaller groups and spoke about who we lost. The friend I lost was also my victim. As I spoke about it, the emotions overwhelmed me – shame, guilt, regret. But I also took accountability for my actions.

My deep thanks and kudos to all of you who participated. I have never experienced an R:J event that brought together those who did harm and those who have lived through harm in the same space based on the commonality of their loss of a loved one to homicide, and it’s a brilliant idea. Please count me in for future such events!

Restorative Dialogue Facilitator Training

We currently hold trainings for people who are interested in being certified Restorative Dialogue Facilitators. For more information on our next training please please email us at